...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
