I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
