I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I understand Curling. That high.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
