Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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