He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
