I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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