Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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