She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
