I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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