I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Barsexuality is the new black.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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