She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Randomize
