# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Randomize
