No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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