Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
