So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
