Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
