Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
