We named our party play list daddy issues
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize