The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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