There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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