careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
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