chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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