Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
pray to the hookup gods
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
