She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Who put my cat in the fridge?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
