i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
