I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
