she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
i drank out of a bidet.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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