We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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