the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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