We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
