Don't you send me to vm
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
