By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
