I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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