He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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