So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
