I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I need a beard to bite.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
