That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
