I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I met the friendliest cop last night
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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