i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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