put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
