it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
