im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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