Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Randomize
