The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
