Someone shit on the floor
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Randomize
