It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
