Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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