some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
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