I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
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