O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Randomize