I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
