I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
he was CRYING into my vagina
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
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