did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
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