I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
