Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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