For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Randomize
