I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
