He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
