And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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