I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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