Your face is a jimmy john
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
