ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
