I feel like I'm in dance class right now
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Randomize
